Sally Hammel, MDiv candidate and a seminarian at Memorial Church, delivered the following remarks at Morning Prayers in Harvard's Memorial Church on February 27, 2020.
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I have come not to do my own will, but the will of the One who sent me
(John 6:38)
The first rung of the spiritual life is to recognize that God is God. To me, this means that I must ask God for help and guidance before I can even begin to live the life He intended. Secondly, I need to accept the will of God, knowing that God’s desire for me is greater and more wonderful than anything I could possibly imagine. The question is—how do I know the will of God?
This is the $64 million question. Even Jesus wasn’t sure. Initially he said, “I have come not to do my own will but the will of the one who sent me"—and yet, in the Garden of Gethsemane, faced with his destiny, he also prayed "let this chalice pass from me."
In my life, I find it fairly easy to follow God’s will when the path is clear—even when faced with hardship. I am no stranger to hard work, and I believe I have a higher than average tolerance for pain. But I struggle when I can’t see the path before me, when I am unsure about which path to take—do I take action, or wait? Do I jump in or hold off?
Coming to Harvard Divinity School and deciding to walk the Camino de Santiago were two examples in my life where I followed God’s will on faith. Both were agonizing decisions at the time and made no sense in my ordered life. Leaving my lucrative career in New York City to attend divinity school? Walk across Spain with no previous hiking experience or equipment? I had no idea where those choices would lead me, yet both have turned out to be two of the best decisions in my life.
In order to hear God’s direction, I need to make time to get quiet, pray, and listen. So, in the morning, I strive to follow a spiritual practice that includes prayer, meditation, reading a spiritual text, and sometimes connecting with a fellow spiritual traveler. I like to read Joan Chittister’s The Rule of Benedict: A Spirituality for the 21st Century. This book offers a daily reflection with practical guidance on how to interpret the ancient Rule of Benedict and put it into present day practice. Joan says "Prayer breaks us open to the designs of God for life. God is calling us to more than the material level of life. All we have to do is to learn to listen to the voice of God in life. And we have to do it heart, soul, and body. The spiritual life demands all of us."
Today I am holding space for my young adult daughter who is struggling with depression and searching to find her way in the world. I desperately want to relieve her pain, and yet the path is not clear to me—what is God’s will in this situation? What can and should I do to help her? Perhaps more importantly, what should I NOT do? I don’t know, so I pray and ask God for the insight and courage it will take to go the next step, and meanwhile trust in God’s goodness and grace.
What are you holding space for this morning? What questions do you have for God in your life? I invite you to join me in making time to get quiet, pray and listen.
Meanwhile, here’s a prayer from Joan to set us on our way:
May your journey through the questions of life bring you to a new moment of awareness.
May you find embedded in the wisdom of the past, like all the students of life before you, the answers you yourself are seeking now.
May you come to know that in every human event is a particle of the Divine to which we turn.